How the taboos of Femininity manifests in our feeling disconnected and unhappy
Many women have been conditioned by other women, the staunch feminists who believe that Femininity in many of it's most natural expressions are weaknesses that must be abolished in order to move forwards away from being kept down by the Patriarchy and to triumph over men who have taken opportunities from us.
So now, we deny ourselves what is inherently our own super power as women. The softness, the beauty, the nurturing, the sensuality, the glamour and, the receptive qualities that would usually be guiding us through life in a more harmonious and joyous way.
We now believe that as women, we must not be;
taking time over our appearance,
flaunting our assets
engaging in sensual pleasures
indulging in self care
I have always loved being a Woman, the possibilities of evolving how I look with clothes, beauty products, hair styles and different colours and accessories.
I have always loved the woman's form and adore looking at artworks and photographs of beautiful women of all different shapes and sizes over the centuries. And no conditioning that tries to make me feel like my personal sense of Glamour and passion for Feminine beauty is a waste of time, will prevent me from ensuring I have these joys in my life.
So.....what happens when the societal led taboos result in our becoming disconnected from our Feminininity??
What I believe and what I have seen to be the case is that many women feel that there is something intrinsic missing from their lives. It feels like they are living and working in a way that makes them feel disconnected to that joy they probably haven't felt since they were a child and possibly since their more care free 20s when they leapt out into the world with ambitions, feeling freer than ever, feeling young, sexy and vibrant ready to take on the world and adult life.
Then...adult life hits them, marriage, motherhood, career. They become caretaker and nurturer of a family, homemaker and housekeeper, CEO or team member striving to get ahead in the corporate game or birthing a business to bring them that much needed money and confirmation that they are 'winning at life'!
And then, one day they suddenly realise they don't remember those exuberant feelings they once had as they dressed up for a night out, put the little black dress on , the heels, the lipstick. They no longer feel the power that came with knowing the potency of their Feminine body. They miss the playfulness that pulled them through their studies and the anticipation of getting ready for a hot date that carried them through the mundanity of the 9 to 5. Suddenly, women in their mid phase of life don't have these little glimmers that used to be a huge part of their lives as a young woman. They have swapped the little black dresses for a uniform of practical jeans and t shirt or, a highly Conservative suit for the high powered job. But this doesn't make them feel lovely. This doesn't help them to feel sexy.
Their bodies may have morphed into something far removed from those young hot girl days and they don't know how to dress to make themselves look and feel as lovely as they once did. Often, this is because they have fallen into the trap of thinking it doesn't matter anymore...they are older, they have other responsibilities, they are married, they have children and that all important career they once thought was the ultimate goal. They have conformed to the belief that once they reach a certain age that seducing the self and others with our womanly wiles is a trick only for the young.
But, they feel so disconnected from their sensual and feminine selves, they know that they miss those days of feeling vital, attractive and seductive. Sometimes they may not consciously realise the loss of these aspects but it shows up in the small facts that they never look at themselves in the mirror anymore, they never take time to enjoy making up their faces or buying attractive lingerie. They feel invisible and lacklustre. They may be drinking a little too much, eating a little too much. They are possibly completely off the idea of sex and they don't allow themselves to look at their naked body let alone anyone else!
And one day, they realise that something feels very off. There is a deep sadness and they realise that they had hoped for so much more for themselves.
What we need to do as women is fuel the endless love affair with life. And love affairs take effort, care and attention to maintain. Like a plant, if we do not water it and show it the light often enough, it will wilt and wither away.
It is time to shun the so called taboos of Femininity so that we can learn to re ignite our own passions as women, it is time to awaken to the joys and potency of being a woman!
Till next time, wishing you love, beauty and much pleasure.
Laura
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