Do you often feel the pain of loneliness or, the pang of disappointment that a partner, friend or perhaps a family member is unable to provide you with a level of comfort, support, love and validation?
Maybe you realise that you do not know what brings you joy any longer as you have spent so long serving everyone else's needs and have forgotten how to really feel into your own sense of personal pleasure?
You may be working in a job that really does not fulfil you or represent your passions or purpose.
You may even have given up hope of accessing this precious commodity as your lifestyle and circumstances are just not conducive to a seemingly indulgent state of personal gratification.
But how could we ever give up on such a vital aspect of our human birth right?
Defined by the Cambridge Dictionary as Enjoyment, Happiness or Satisfaction with other synonyms noted as, Delight, Fulfilment, Bliss, Rapture, Happiness, Contentment, Gratification, Ease, Joy, Comfort, Gladness and, Relish.
I am going to begin with the story of my own path towards self sourcing pleasure.
It begins with sadness.
The sadness of not being in a partnership whereby I felt my passions were seen, heard, validated, appreciated and, understood. Luckily for me, I knew that maintaining my access to fulfilment and delight was absolutely vital for my own sanity and that if I was not going to be able to enjoy what I loved with someone else, then I would have to ensure that I made time for myself to glean those pleasures alone. And that is absolutely reasonable because, we are all deserving of the titillation of life!
I think we may all have experienced that huge disappointment when someone who is supposed to love us unconditionally (as an entire being) and move through life enjoying our dreams alongside us seems unable or unwilling to connect to us and our passions on a soul level. We can sometimes begin to distance ourselves from our own desires so that we don't offend, disappoint or grow further away from that person. If we are in the face of judgement and disapproval we can even begin to turn away from and shun our own sources of pleasure and enjoyment via a sense of shame and guilt and the feeling that we have no right to be enjoying ourselves.
By doing this we only hurt ourselves and if, we forget what bought us joy previously for too long, we become majorly disconnected from our souls and we begin to live a life masked in the forfeit of 'settling'
And we owe it to ourselves not to settle!
We can only hold ourselves responsible for living a life that aligns with our own truths and desires. And yes, while there is always compromise to be made when one has others around them who are dependant on them (mothers, wives, carers) or when free time is so limited (again, mothers, wives, carers, employers and employees) it is so very important that we take time to return to ourselves so that we are not always living a life for everyone else.
We must maintain our essence...that which makes us so unique and sustains the whole of our being.
If we fail to maintain that access to our own enchantment, we become numbed to other avenues of joy, we can begin to think that we are not worthy of enjoying ourselves and that we are no longer a priority as an individual.
Pleasure is the route to the fully embodied Woman and if we are not receiving the tingles down our spine, the heart racing breathlessness or the awe and wonder of how held we are, how much beauty there is around us and how the body can supply and hold a bountiful abundance of joy, we are not living to our full capacity as a human being.
Self indulgence may so often be seen in a derogatory light but only because we are so conditioned to believe that we should not have time for such 'selfish and time wasting' activities. But, self care and self reflection as to who we are and what we want is in no way selfish or vain. The benefits to our mental and physical health are so intrinsically linked to reducing stress and anxiety. Think of all of those delicious hormones that are released in to our bodies whenever we eat a chocolate, smell a beautiful flower, make love or dance to our favourite song in the kitchen. Pleasure looks and feels different to each and every body but, it is certainly no frivolity to be discarded lightly.
The fact is that, joy breeds more joy and, there are endless pathways to it if we allow ourselves to explore them.
I also firmly believe that when you fully embody a Woman who knows how to access her own pleasures and express herself as such, that you inspire and encourage others to do the same. You are energetically announcing that it is 'ok to know and express who you are and what you like and, to go after it.' You are inviting others join you within the great celebration of life.
I cannot think of a more important way to live, can you?
Till next time, wishing you much love, beauty and pleasure,
Laura
x